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The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary
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:-)      Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
         joking statement since we can`t hear voice inflection over FIDO.
;-)      Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
:-(      Frowning smilie. User did not like the last statment or is upset
         or depressed about something.
:-I      Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as
         good as a happy smilie.
:->      Sarcastic smilie. User just made a really biting sarcastic remark.
         Worse than a :-).
>:->     User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->     Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

Those are the basic ones... Here are some somewhat less common ones:

(-:      user is lefthanded
%-)      user has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours strait
:*)      user is drunk
[:]      user is a robot
8-)      user is wearing sunglasses
B:-)     sunglasses on head
::-)     user wears normal glasses
B-)      user wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-)     user is a little girl
:-)-8    user is a big girl
:-{)     user has a mustache
:-{}     user wears lipstick
{:-)    user wears a toupee
}:-(    toupee in an updraft
:-[      user is a vampire
:-E      bucktoothed vampire
:-F      bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7      user just made a wry statement
:-*      user just ate something sour
:-)SS    user drools
:-SS)    user has a cold
:'-(     user is crying
:'-)     user is so happy that she/he is crying
:-@      user is screaming
:-#      user wears braces
:^)      user has a broken nose
:v)      user has a broken nose but it is the other way
:-&      user is tongue tied
=:-)     user is a hosehead
--:-)    user is a punk rocker
--:-(    real punk rockers don`t smile
:=)      user has two noses
+-:-)    user it the pope or holds some other religious office
':-)     user shaved one of his eyebrows this morning
,:-)     same thing...other side
|-I      user is asleep
|-O      user is jawning/snoring
:-Q      user is a smoker
:-?      user smokes a pipe
O-)      megatron man on partol ! (or else user is a scuba diver)
O :-)    user is an angel
:-P      - no comment -
:-S      user just made an incoherent statement
:-D      user is laughing (at you!)
:-X      users lips are sealed
<|-)     user is a chinese
<|-(     user is a chinese and doesnt like this kind of jokes
:-/      user is sceptical
C=:-)    user is a chef
@=       user is pro-nuclear war
:-o      uh oh !!
(8-o     it`s Mr. Bill !!
*:o)     Bonzo the clown
3:]      pet smile
3:[      mean pet smile
:-9      user is licking his/her lips
%-9      user is braindead
{:-)     user is wearing a walkman
(:I      user is an egghead
<:-I     user is a dunce
@:-)     user is wearing a turban
:-0      no yelling ! (quiet lab)
:-:      mutant smile
,-)      dito, but he is winking
X-(      user just died
8 :-)    user is a wizard

C=}>{*{)) MEGA-SMILIE... a drunk, devilish chef with a toupe, a moustache,
                           and a double chin in an updraft.

Note: a lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies !!